"Those Questions"

Disclaimer: This reflects my own opinions, and nobody else. No one endorsed me to butcher any limbs, but I allowed myself to talk logic and of abstract things that, to some minds, are incomprehensible (one way or the other... or both ways, or lost of direction). Prepare for grammar errors because for some reasons, I'm fumed and I give no splat of batshit to care.

Hello!

So, I had this idea of posting this here where no one reads this kind of posts, and should any problem arise I'd run from it easily. This post will be filled with political correctness and of being Malaysians who are kaypoh (busybodies) and even more kaypoh (even more busybodies). I can't tolerate this kind of things anymore, because it's 2015: nobody should have cared about anyone else. They're starting to anger me, but yeah, I can't show my anger to strangers. But that's just me, and the followings would be my laments.


1. Are you Chinese or Malay?

Mom and I get this kind of questions often. For me, it was something I would gush over, but now, it's more of a burden that I'd have "announce" my race. I'm not the only one who's blessed with this look, and one of the people who'd get these questions is my mom. Probably a little to often, if we'd consider her job that has to talk to people. I get it: We look Chinese, but we don't sound Chinese.

That's racism already, right there, and that's just in your thoughts.

What concerns me right now is the growing of racism in this country. Nobody wants to become a target over something petty and have been stereotyped, like race and religion. It's not your choice to be Malay, Chinese, or Indian. Even if I look different than others of my race, people would start going back to the dawn of time, to the root of it... which isn't much of an enjoyable question to answer.

But you look Chinese? (I'm pretty sure I'm not?)

Are you mixed? (Where your parents are of different racial and cultural background gets married and have sex and then your mom conceives you, and those are in your DNAs.) (But no, I'm not. At least not Chinese.)

Is your Mom or Dad  is a Chinese convert? (Really? Seriously?)

Are your ancestors Chinese? (No, I chose this face before I was born because I thought I'd look cute.)

You see? There's another set of problem that I don't even know where to begin because I have no idea. I do know that on my mom's side, they're Javanese; and my dad's ancestors are from the Middle East and India. Do I look like any of these? Did I REALLY CHOSE to have this look over the other? Exactly: no, I did not choose anything. Plus, my parents and my brothers' and my face are really different from one another. Are we adopted? The last time I checked, no we weren't.

Look, if I ever confuse you, just look at me. I look local. Locals speak English (if not the best English we could speak). Other races can speak Malay which is the lingua franca of this humid country. I speak both languages, by the way, and Malay being my first language and English being the second. My race shouldn't bother you, and you should not pester me with follow-up questions. It's 2015 and we shouldn't be backwards!



2. How's your results? (Relatives' edition.)

As you know, I'm very competitive when it comes to what I do and how I do it. I've entered competitions a couple million times than my brothers and cousins did, combined. For me, school's a necessary evil and imagine Route 66 with terrible, bumpy road with speed traps. If that didn't give you the best clear picture of how school was for me, then I don't know how else I should explain it. But, see, if that's how terrible school was for me, and I'm doing my best to get the best of it. I don't plant something and never let it ripe or bloom (metaphorically speaking, because I hate gardening). I have tasted failure more than any geniuses seeing 99% on their exam papers and those scoundrels who have readied themselves for failure from my class and below.

And this question bugs me. All the fucking time.

I'm not a Science student or someone who has a Mensa membership, but to be honest, my results are always way better than most of my dad's cousins who are just a little older than I am (and one who's a few years younger than me).

Why does this always bother me, you ask?

Because I studied my ass off like I was in a 100m sprint, went for CS practices and would not come back until four to six, joined competitions, became an introvert in class, and gained my very own independence with those "very stellar" A's I have, and have not stayed under my parents' roof ever since I was 18 (technically, I found shelter which is my grandma's home... and my parents have to feed me because they don't allow me to work). I went for foundation for a damn year with my own results that I never tempered it with a million A's, and with that, I'm currently in degree. My dad verbal abuse me on daily, and telling me that I'm not going far in life if I keep up with sleeping after I get back from school. I never have a pause in life, except during post-SPM and post-foundation (ALSO SLEEP!)

All by my own sweat and tears and struggles and depression, thanks. And I don't need to talk to you about it. Also, if football you're bragging about, you're not a part of a National Champion team, right? Then, shut the Hell up, will you?

3. What university are you attending? (Same edition as the previous one.)

Question one: WHAT DO YOU FUCKING CARE?!

Question two: ARE YOU PAYING MY STUDENT LOAN?

Question three: WHERE DID YOU ENROLL YOUR KIDS TO? OXFORD? STANFORD? PRINCETON?

Question four: On scale 0-to-0, how possible would you not celebrate my hard work and lust for learning?

4. What's your major? (Everybody's-fucking-business edition/Peers' edition)

This is one of the reason why I don't believe in humanity. Few days ago, I saw a tweet from an Engineer community that seriously compares the so-called "future engineers" aka the BS students and "the future of media" BA students. I can't believe that that kind of tweet would happened in a million years.

Right: so your father or mother could be a doctor, your siblings could be a pilot, and are you sure you can really be an engineer while looking down at people with that manner you have? Are you absolutely sure you can? I'm sure any homeless man has better insights than you.

Second, why I hate it when this question is brought up is because this "I'm better than you" mentality would appear. Let the nature disapprove my being but the universe respects my opinions: those people have shouldn't have opinions. Those people shouldn't live. Like, are you sure you're better than BA students? Are you sure that that 100% on your paper reflects you as a human being with humility? Nope, I don't think these people are humble.

Sure, your major could take your places: across borders, across continents, across seas. Are you really going to live with tip-top education but with no sense of respect for others who would surround you, and who are likely to be "less smart" than you are? That thing should have come with logic, and logic is one of the key to your line of study. There's nothing abstract about this. So don't be a pussy ass bitch and ask people about their major if you can't sit through an Othello play.

Also, fuck you and till then.

Disclaimer 2: I've never sat through an Othello play. But I'd love to, some day.

 Disclaimer 3: Damn, people must have ticked me off all the time for me to be fucking angry...